Friday, April 18, 2008

Update on City Livin'

Ups and Downs

It's been a long few weeks. I've continued to have tests done...been scared to death with the things the Drs told was wrong with me...and then thankful that those tests came back negative. At one point during the last two weeks they told me they thought I had a tumor or diabetes. Thank God, I have neither. But. the emotional up and down of someone telling you that has really taking a toll on me. This week they think maybe I have a wheat allergy, so I'm off ALL wheat products for two weeks. It has been a tough few days trying to do this. We'll see what happens. I've been so blessed with the support of my friends and family during all of this, although I have not really told everyone.

The weather in the city is finally better and I've gone a full week without a turtle neck or heavy sweater! I think I might have hung up my puffy coat for good. But, I've been REALLY homesick still. I'm trying so hard and I feel like I've given the city a chance...but my heart just longs for the South. My family is all at the beach this weekend and I want so badly to be there. Airfare home is about $400 for every weekend I want to go and it just not feasible. My husband tells me we have to stick it out for at least another year or two. It is so much harder than I though it would be. I really miss our friends and family. Any tips on getting over being homesick?

My husband's hours have been REALLY bad at work. He is on a major deal and he doesn't get home until about 11:00pm-11:30pm. It is hard on both of us right now with this schedule. I get kind of lonely when I don't have activities planned after work. Last week I did a great job of making sure I had plans. This week, all I had was JL. So I ate all my wheat free dinners by myself. Kinda sad. I'm hoping his schedule will get better soon as it is exhausting for me to stay up late so I get to have a little time with him. Not to mention, I know it is SO hard on him and he is getting really burnt out. It's a different world up here in the city, people work harder than I've ever seen in my life. My own job is really tough right now and my major meeting is in June.

We've agreed we are going to go on a tropical vacation for our first anniversary. I mentioned it before and y'all gave me fabulous tips. I was so overwhelmed with the choices, that I emailed the "honeymoon queen" at my old office (travel agency). I gave her our budget and some guidelines and she sent us 6 fully priced out options. We narrowed it down to a resort in Mexico, one in the Dominican Republic and one in Turks & Caicos. I'll let you know what we decide! I really need this trip to look forward to!

Two of my friends have had their babies in the past few weeks. One of them is in the South and one of them up here. I was able to meet my friend K's baby girl "Allie" this week. She is precious and so small. One of my pledge sisters from college got engaged last week and quite a few of them are pregnant! One is expecting next month.

Daisy is doing great. My Dad says she is the most well adjusted of all of us. She still LOVES her dog walker and her friends. Yesterday she got a haircut and bath...for a mere $80!! How much do you pay to have your dog cleaned or do you do it yourself? We've been bathing her in the tub since we found out it was $80 up here, but it was time for a professional. In the South I used to pay about $45.00.

I recently participated in the Preppy Spring Swap.
It was so much fun shopping for my fabulous partner. I sent her package on Wednesday and I'll let you know what it was as soon as she gets it. She sent me a teaser email last night with just a picture of my box. It was so funny and I can't wait! We are definitely going to have to make Preppy Swaps a regular thing. Thanks Mrs. Charming for hosting!

On the topic of my fabulous partner, I'm sure most of you have heard about Monkey's adventures. If you haven't head over here right now. I'm so excited that Monkey will be coming to visit me in the city. I hope arrives during the weekend so I'll have time to give him the grand tour! Lisagh is so creative and this little guy is going to have a great vacation visiting all of the Preppy Bloggers.

Tonight I'm going to attempt to see the Pope. He is making a stop on the UES and I am going to try to get a glimpse of the Pope Mobile! I'll post pictures if I do. We're going to dinner this evening with some friends and no real plans for the rest of the weekend. Since the weather is nice I want to take Daisy to Central Park and just relax and see all the pretty flowers and trees.

I've recently bought this and one I can't find, but it is yellow cotton and it that looks like this .
I've been the queen of Ebay as well. I won: this and this (it's my silver pattern and SO cheap) and one of these in green, oh and a pair of Jcrew shoes. And during the last Jcrew sale I bought this in yellow this and this.

Questions for you:

What have you been buying?
What is your favorite dish to take to someone after they have a baby? (I'm making dinner this week for K)

A few things I have my eye on:


The Birdsilk Mallory Scarf from CK Bradley




Hoodie from Vineyard Vines for $89.90. Really VV--$89 for a hoodie. Come on---but I do love it!

Ok, this post should satisfy you for a little while. On Monday, I'll be answering questions...so give them to me. What ya want to know. Send me an email or leave a post and I'll answer everything I can.

17 comments:

Louisa said...

Battling homesickness is so hard - especially when you're also missing your husband b/c he's stuck at work! I empathize - NYC can seem very anonymous and it's very easy to feel lonely in such a big city.

You have the right idea - keep yourself busy during the week and make plans on the weekend. I'd also suggest establishing some kind of routine - like taking your dog for a walk to your favorite spot on the weekends. That way, you'd have a routine and feel like you have 'your place' that you go to in the city.

I'd recommend getting out of the city once a month - you could take short trips to the Cloisters, the Vanderbilt mansion (Hyde Park), or the Stone Barns Center (Mt. Pleasant) to name a few.

I hope things get better now that the weather is (finally!) getting warmer - always helps to have nice weather! Hope your health issues get sorted out soon, too.

Midwest Prep said...

I know what you mean when you long for the place that you grew up. I have been living in Chicago for 5 years now, and rarely get to go back to my hometown which I miss- something inside me just misses it. I don't think I will ever move back since it is sooooo cold there, but I miss my friends and family. Hang in there- It will get better.

Also, I wanted to let you know that I tagged you on my blog- you may have already done the whole 6 unimportant things list so if you have- feel free to let me know- otherwise- i would lov for you to share your 6 things- check out my blog for the rules/instructions.
Hope you feel better soon- and I hope they figure out teh health stuff- I know it must be unsettling having it up in the air.

Preppy Lizard said...

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. Being homesick can be so hard and NYC is a tough tough city. My sister lives in NYC and when I visit I am amazed how how people live there. But I will say I love coming to visit the city in the spring b/c it is so beautiful and there is a ton to do in the park in the spring and summer so hopefully you can find a few fun new things to do.

I totally understand how you feel about your husband working so much. Mine has been travelling so much for work and I get lonely night after night. In the end it will all be worth it. Hang in there!!!

Maria said...

So sorry to hear about it all - I can very much understand the homesickness and the loneliness especially for when I was in Japan. Keeping busy is right, like Louisa said especially on those nights when you were by yourself.

I have to say, reading everyone's blogs at the end of a day when I was by myself in my teeny apartment made the quiet less onerous, and I felt like I was in a room with a great group of women having a coffee at the end of the day, and talking about what is happening in their lives.

That said, it is a great thing that the weather is warming up. I feel like I am a mole coming out of hibernation after an NYC winter - I was just over by Bloomie's this morning and the sun felt so nice. I love springtime in NYC, and that was one of the things I was definitely looking forward to coming back home. Going further along the lines of what Louisa said, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden is having its annual Cherry Blossom festival this May 5-6 (I think). The garden is so beautiful at this time of year.

BTW, would you be after me in terms of number order in Monkey's tour?

Unknown said...

Hang in there girl! It gets better, although you will always miss your peeps! I remember when I first moved to Louisiana from Illinois. I was pretty young (just out of college) and I would cry in the shower because I didn't want my bf to know how sad I was. I've been here 10 years now, but I still miss a lot of things about home. But not the snow! ;)

Unknown said...

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you! Hope the homesickness fades as spring in NYC takes hold. My friend Erin and some of her girlfriends are doing a gamenight soon, send me an e-mail if your interested and I'll have Erin call you.

Happy Friday -

Jenn

Anonymous said...

I think this will be one of those things that you'll remember fondly later even though it was frequently tough and miserable at the time - sort of like Outward Bound, or being pregnant. I think you're doing great - you're making friends and exporing and going to restaurants and enjoying the city - you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Also, I grew up in NYC and now live in New Orleans, so I love your blog b/c I feel as if you have the opposite perspective than me, so to speak. I vastly prefer NOLA to NYC. I always wanted to be able to open the front door and be outside - not open the front door, wait for the elevator, walk through the lobby, etc. Anyway, I hope you start feeling better now that spring is here. Also (even though it's none of my business) I think you should find a job that makes you happy and/or take some graduate level classes at NYU or Columbia - you'll meet people and it's interesting. Also, and I know this sounds like a crazy idea, have you thought about being a nanny/babysitter? I don't mean full time, just making yourself available occasionally on the evenings when your husband is working late. If you were to start babysitting for one or two nice couples, with nice children, you'd get to spend a couple hours in a gorgeous luxorious apartment for a change of pace, and that would also be a great way to meet new people and/or do new things. Plus, kids can be so awesome to hang out with. If you were to ask around, and find some people with kids in the genuinely good schools (Chapin, Spence, Brearley, Collegiate, Buckley) I bet you would really enjoy it. As I said, I know it sounds like a crazy idea . . .

Anonymous said...

I think this will be one of those things that you'll remember fondly later even though it was frequently tough and miserable at the time - sort of like Outward Bound, or being pregnant. I think you're doing great - you're making friends and exporing and going to restaurants and enjoying the city - you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Also, I grew up in NYC and now live in New Orleans, so I love your blog b/c I feel as if you have the opposite perspective than me, so to speak. I vastly prefer NOLA to NYC. I always wanted to be able to open the front door and be outside - not open the front door, wait for the elevator, walk through the lobby, etc. Anyway, I hope you start feeling better now that spring is here. Also (even though it's none of my business) I think you should find a job that makes you happy and/or take some graduate level classes at NYU or Columbia - you'll meet people and it's interesting. Also, and I know this sounds like a crazy idea, have you thought about being a nanny/babysitter? I don't mean full time, just making yourself available occasionally on the evenings when your husband is working late. If you were to start babysitting for one or two nice couples, with nice children, you'd get to spend a couple hours in a gorgeous luxorious apartment for a change of pace, and that would also be a great way to meet new people and/or do new things. Plus, kids can be so awesome to hang out with. If you were to ask around, and find some people with kids in the genuinely good schools (Chapin, Spence, Brearley, Collegiate, Buckley) I bet you would really enjoy it. As I said, I know it sounds like a crazy idea . . .

Farrell and Lauren said...

It is always so nice for me to read your blog since we have sort of been facing similar New York dilemmas! I am so happy that it is warming up, but I can't decide if that is better or worse! Such a relief b/c I couldn't take the cold any more but also sad because it reminds me of home. I agree that getting out the city is key. We go out to Westchester at least once a month, and it makes a huge difference for me, whether we are having dinner with friends in a real house or playing tennis. There are a lot of nice waterfront areas along the coast and it might be nice to explore. I also agree with the routine suggestion. Every Sunday my boyfriend and I get a grapefruit at Citarella, coffee and pastries at our favorite bakery, and a Post. It makes me feel part of the neighborhood. Plus, it is one of the few days that I can count on him not having to work- auuugh!!

Lauren @ Adventures of a Southern Newlywed said...

I am sorry you are feeling homesick and dealing with all the stress of your medical tests. I hope things start to get better soon.

I love all the cute new things you bought for spring. I haven't bought a ton yet. I have found a few things at Old Navy and the Gap, and a little bit of Lilly at TJ Maxx. There is a Lilly dress I have my eye on from the summer collection, but I am not sure if I will get it or not.

I hope you have a nice weekend!

Anonymous said...

When I lived in the city just knowing I could get away for the weekend at least once a month was my saving grace especially in the spring and summer so I agree with Louisa. I don't know if you have a car or you would have to rent one but there are some wonderful places in NJ you could go to just for the day since I know you have a dog, you could even bring her too!

The Mrs. said...

I am so sorry to hear all you've been going through. I'm just catching up! The city is tough. I had a little relief because my mom lived in CT!

Unknown said...

Hi,
I just found your blog through...well honestly, I'm completely sure how I found it. I am also a newlywed, but I am lucky to stay close to my family. However, right after I graduated college, I went a lived in Honduras for several months...completely alone. I understand being homesick.

The times I was loneliest, I would go on a walk and Praise the Lord for all the blessings He had given me. I know it sounds plain, but it always seemed to help. Please know that I will be praying for you because I understand your emotions.

Oh, and I always like to make a pot roast with potatoes and carrots. It's great in the crock pot!

Ashley

Seige said...

I know you will make! We are thinking about you!

I just wanted to tell you I have that yellow jcrew sweater too but I got it before it went on sale at the store so I couldn't get a price adjustment. What a pain. I just love it. Hope you do too.

Talk to you soon.

Sunshine In The City said...

Keep your head up! The homesickness will get better I promise! I've felt the same way from time to time. My cure is to go and do something that is only "New York" and have my own personal adventure. Hit a museum, go for a jog in Battery Park (being able to look out and see the Statue of Libery and Ellis Island is unreal), explore a new neighborhood, etc. Also, someone left a comment earlier about planning little trips out of the city! I could not agree more. I try and bust out at least every 2-3 weeks even if just for an afternoon. New Englad has so much to offer and explore!

magnoliabelle said...

I really hate that you aren't getting any answers to all of your tests. I'm thankful that they haven't found anything dramatically wrong, but I understand the no answers thing too. Hang in there - I'll be praying for you!!

P.S. Found a hoodie at AT Loft kinda similar to the VV one...got it on clearance for $6.88...

kolls said...

Homesickness is awful, and being up here when you're used to the awesomeness of the South...

...I don't know. I'd kind of gotten over it, but not in a good way, I just started feeling numb, like I was never going to leave here. And that sucked. But for me personally, what changed that is deciding to move somewhere else before I move back home to settle. Hopefully the change of scenery will help :)

One of my favorite things is just walking around the city and exploring new neighborhoods. There are so many neat places in and out of Manhattan! If you can get cheap airfare back home, I'd definitely recommend doing that from time to time, even if it's for a weekend :)

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