Monday, November 19, 2007
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!
One of my very best friends in the world just broke up with her boyfriend. They were very serious and she was pretty sure he was "the one." I'm not going to get into the whole story for her own privacy, but I want your help today in cheering her up. Please write a comment with your best breakup advice so I can pass along lots of love and good cheer to her today! Thanks for helping out!
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20 comments:
Hi MMM,
New to blogging! I enjoy reading yours and just
started my own. Although it's more inspirational
than anything else!
I am creating a blog roll and would love to add you
to it. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Pearls and Grace
I'll start...
1) Eat Lots of Chocolate
2) Take a Bubble Bath
3) Read He's Just Not That In to You for the 3rd time
4) Make a list of qualities you want to find in your perfect mate (be sure to include all the ones your ex does not have)
5) Eat more chocolate (ice cream this time)
6) Buy yourself a pretty box of kleenex and use the whole thing
7) Watch Funny Movies
8) Buy yourself a really HOT outfit
9) Exercise, join a kick boxing class or some kind of class where you can release anger
10) Buy yourself the perfect shade of new lip gloss...you'll be ready to use it again before you know it!
Please send my friend some more suggestions or notes that you would tell your BF if they just broke up with the love of their life!
That list is a great start. I especially like #4. About a year before I met DH, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I made a huge list and stuck to it. I dated three guys between the EX and DH and because they fell short on various points I never became too involved with them. DH, of course, meets all but two of my 30+ requirements. The list works! Tell your friend to stick to it once she makes it.
I learned the hard way..many of times. If he makes you cry, he's not worth crying over. I had a boyfriend since I began dating. It was one serious relationship after another. My senior year of college, I was single and hating it - BUT I learned more about myself during that year than I could ever imagine. I learned I was strong and worth a good man! The following year, I started dating my husband. Thinking of you!
Tell her that as wonderful as he seems (or seemed), there must be somebody even more wonderful and perfect out there she is supposed to be with. Also, sometimes you have to get rid of something in your life in order to make room for what is really supposed to be there.
Then tell her again to eat more chocolate and have a good cry to just get it all out!
Tell her to treat herself to a manicure and pedicure.
Also, is it possible she already knows Mr. Right and doesn't even realize it? D. and I were friends/enemies/When Harry Met Sally type thing for years before we both realized it was meant to be.
whatever you do don't give him the power..as trite as it may seem, there are other 'fish in the sea'--and the right one seems to pop up when you least expect it--so don't look!..my ex-husband left me and my two darlings for our nanny--I had even gotten her a job in his office--but I am the one who came out shining and I am now married to my best friend and soul mate and my darlings couldn't be happier..easy on the chocolate, but 311) a spa day and a new 'do'--be daring!..my heart and prayers are with you!
Okay I haver been there! First of all create what I call: The Recipe. Ten ingredients for the perfect man. Hide it in the back of your journal or undies drawer and forget about it. You'll be surprised what this brings! Check it when you meet your mister right!
Second-
Go on a little shopping spree. Look and feel better than you've ever felt and start to cultivate yourself as one gorgeous creature.
Third-
Give it up. It will happen if you have faith. Let it go and focus on your happiness! I met my hubby at a two year olds bday party! Wasn't looking at all!
Sounds silly but listen to the song "Here I go Again" by Whitesnake. really LOUD. preferably in the car.
Awww, man....my best advice is to take care of YOU. Get manis, get pedis, get out of the house and see your best girlfriends. It may seem preferable to hole up inside and just be sad and that's ok for a day or two but after that, get out of the house and do things that are fun for you.
Sending good thoughts.
Definitely take care of you and I found that exercising helped me get out some frustration and was a great stress reliever. Also, talking to someone who is neutral to the situation was a huge help. I broke up with a boyfriend of 2+ years before my hubby and it was so hard. We had picked out my engagement ring and he purchased it. The deal breaker for me? He held the ring in his hand and said, "I wish you deserved this". From that point on I never let someone made me feel I was not deserving of anything. I met my husband when I least expected it and I knew he was the one.
Always remember that as hard as it feels now each day will get a little bit easier and in time the hurt will fade and your thoughts of him will fade as well.
Good Luck...hate to see anyone go through a break-up. Most important thing to know that you are never alone.
When I was going through break up I'd stay home 1-2 days, reading, rearranging my wardrobe, and throwing away stuff, and on the third day I'd go out on a new date!
The only way to get over somebody is to find someone new. I'm a date addict, I love dating, and I still love going out on dates with hubby...
My suggestion is, give the girl some space, and later introduce her to a hot guy!
Also go shopping together , or at the day spa, or a yoga class, will help her release stress!
Give her my love and sympathy!
I loved your list -- after reading "He's just not into you," pick up a copy of any of the "Sweet Potato Queens" books (especially if she is from the South). They are hilarious & will remind her that it is great to be a woman & that if men are being awful you can "get another one, 'cause theys makin' new ones every day!"
Volunteer work or even helping a friend with a project might help. Helping other is always a great way to take your mind of your troubles (once she past the inital mope around the house phase).
What a good friend you are!
I like the Whitesnake idea.
I know it helped me when I devoted a year to myself and focused on me. Sounds selfish, but it really gave me the time & attention to do things that I wanted to do, spend time with those people who were important to me, and learn a little more about myself. I traveled, spent time w/ friends, etc. Went outside my comfort zone, but it was all worth it. Hang in there - it will get easier.
I got dumped by the guy I thought was probably "the one" last year. He did it on the phone after 3.5 years together. I didn't read all the other posts before I made mine, so I'm sorry if there are repeats.
My advice is:
- Take some time to heal, but get back out there! Go out with friends when you can, and date when ready. There's no point in sitting around for months and months over something that's done.
- In time she will realize why this relationship didn't work out and how she actually saved herself a lot of pain and heartache down the road since this ended before engagement/marriage. (Might not be ready to hear this yet)
- Take some time to do things for her. Get a manicure, go shopping, get a message, etc.
- Eating always makes me feel better!
- Talk to friends/family when she's feeling sad. It's so important to have a lot of support.
- Eat chocolate, love that advice from other posters!
- Listen to happy music, read happy books
- Get rid of stuff that reminds her of him! When I got dumped I got rid of a lot of pictures, cards, gifts, etc. that he gave to me. It felt great to throw it all away! (I know some people are very sentimental and like to keep it, but it really hurts to see some of that stuff in my opinion.)
I hope your friend feels better soon!
Give it time.
Oh girl, haven't we all been there? I think the best advice someone gave me was not to have any contact with him for at least 60 days. Yep, no email, no texting, no phone calls. It really helped me - not that I stuck to it 100%!
Download "The Guy That Says Good Bye To You Must Be Out of His Mind" by Griffin House. Make it your theme song and mantra and play it really loud all the time.
Hang in there, it will get better.
My friend is a reader of my blog and I know how much she appreciated all of your good wishes! Thanks for helping her out! I know we have all been there. =)
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