In Memory

My grandmother peacefully passed away late last night in a hospital in Hawaii. Grandma was there visiting one of her five sons and his family for Christmas. She just turned 86 in the Presidential Suite of the ICU on New Years Day. =) As I mentioned before, she had emergency surgery a few days ago. She was doing better and then she took a turn for the worse yesterday afternoon. When it was determined that there was nothing else the doctors could do to help her, she was moved last night to the "comfort room." She received the Catholic Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick from a local Priest and I know that meant so much to her.

She had the opportunity to say goodbye by phone to her other 5 kids. As you can imagine, my Mom said it was one of the hardest phone calls ever. Among other things, Grandma told my Mom to tell my Dad she loved him and he was her favorite son-in-law. My Mom quickly reminded her that my Dad was her only son-in-law (she does have 5 daughter-in-laws) and she laughed and said she knew that. =) Mom promised her that she would give baby J a big kiss when he arrived. He was to be her first great grandbaby and as you might remember, A and I are naming him after her late husband, my Grandfather. She wrote me a beautiful letter a few months ago telling me how much this meant to her and would have meant to my Grandfather. I know I will cherish this letter in the years to come. My uncle sat with Grandma until she died and described it as a serene and beautiful moment.

After making it through the surgery, Grandma told my Mom on Sunday that she was ready to die now since she felt better. My Mom laughed it off because we really thought she was going to get better. God and Grandma had other plans. She always said she was not looking forward to losing her independence. She was very lucky that she never did. For the past 15 years or so she has been a resident of Palm Springs, California. She and my late Grandfather moved there from Atlanta because of his pulmonary fibrosis. The dry air of the desert really helped him during his last years of life. After her husband died, Grandma decided to stay put in Palm Springs. She made many, many friends and was very involved in her church. She has lived by herself in her condo since my Grandfather's death. She traveled to visit her large family all over the world, drove, went to mass everyday and even won a bridge tournament last month! My Mom spent a week with her in Palm Springs this past fall and I know those memories will comfort my Mom in the upcoming weeks. They were very close and her death is going to be very hard on her only daughter.

Some of my favorite memories of my Grandmother are from my childhood. She and my Grandfather lived just 25 minutes away from us when we were growing up in Atlanta, they were present for every major event including birthdays and Grandparent's Day at school. Grandma was known for her wonderful baking. My personal favorites were her Turkey cookies and made from scratch Apple pie. Her Turkey cookies were always waiting in a Tupperware container for me each Thanksgiving. My aunt made a recipe book with her best recipes and I know that there will be many Turkey cookies in my children's future.

A was wonderful last night and came home immediately when I called him despite having just told me earlier in the day that he had tons of work to do. He got me some good pasta and some Crumbs cupcakes and provided lots of hugs and tissues. My job right now is to try not to lose it too much because I know it is not good for the baby. Of course, staying calm when you are grieving a lose and have raging pregnancy hormones is easier said then done. =) It's especially hard to be in NYC away from my family and know that my travel days are over for at least a few months. I especially wish I could be there for my Mom right now. Grandma wrote very detailed instructions about how she wants everything to be carried out. She insists that her funeral be a celebration of her life and that it happen at a time when it is convenient for her 6 children and 12 grandchildren (who live in California, Singapore, Hawaii, Alabama, Florida and Georgia). Perhaps Baby J and I will get to go after all. While he will never get to meet this amazing woman, he still has lots of great aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins to meet! I also know he has one more angel in heaven smiling down on him today and watching out for him. I know my Grandma will be with me the next few weeks, but today I just want to cry a little and remember what a wonderful person she was. Thanks for "listening." =)

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers this week.